my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
