nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
