There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
