They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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