I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
