I wish you could order shots online.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
