Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
