Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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