oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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