ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Randomize
