8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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