I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
