Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
