bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
