and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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