Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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