I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
