Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
