I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
