Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
