Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
