U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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