Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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