Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think I sprained my soul last night
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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