If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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