The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
