thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
