Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
