and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize