Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
