no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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