i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
