i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
