you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
