You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
