My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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