you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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