I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
