I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
