My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
