Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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