they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
