you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
