WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
