omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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