well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
