Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
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Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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