just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
