she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
How naked do you want me to be?
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