the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
