He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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