just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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