I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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