You're earring is so big in my mouth
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
