I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
