i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
